The Frugal Gourmet

After another long hiatus, i'm back.  Things in the dating world were good for a while and now they're bad again.  I'm hoping if I write about them, they'll be less bad.

Going back to last summer with the man I like to call the Frugal Gourmet:

I started seeing him in May and I wasn't so into him at first.  But, I went out with him a second time and then a third time and I began to enjoy his company.  It also didn't hurt that he was really cute. Things were pretty good - he planned dates, asked me out in advance, paid at the end of the date.  But, then by the third month, I noticed that he was super cheap.  And, not so much a gentlman.

He continued to ask me out to dinner and drinks and then when the bill would come, he would indirectly try to get me to pay for half.  My thoughts on paying are as follows:  I believe the man should pay on a date.  Once a relationship is established, I have no problem offering to split bills, or taking my boyfriend out once in a while, or cooking dinner for us at home.  But, during the courting phase, the man pays.  Period.

What I didn't understand was why he'd suggest going to nice places if he knew he didn't want to pay for it.  One time he took me to his favorite seafood place for dinner; he got the lobster and I got the shrimp tacos.  Then when the bill came, he wanted me to pay for half....but, there was no way I was paying for his lobster dinner.  I asked him if he was serious and then he played it off like he was just kidding.  Please.  I would've been perfectly content staying in, getting a bottle of wine and watching a movie.  But, he wanted to go to this restaurant.  You are the man, I am your date, you have made no committment to me. I am not here to finance your lobster dinner so that tomorrow night you can afford to take out the next girl. 

After that he asked me if I wanted to grab a drink at a lounge that just opened by his apartment.  I don't know why I continued on this date, but I did.  We went, he ordered his drink and I ordered a glass of wine.  Then the bartender gave us the bill and I knew he was waiting for me to pay for my own drink.  Annoyed, I reached into my wallet and gave him $10.  I looked around the bar - it was packed with couples on dates...I didn't see any other woman giving her date money to cover her glass of wine. 

With the mood completely killed, I was eager to get out of there.  I had already packed my bag to stay over his place (we had been doing this almost every weekend for the previous three months)...my bag was super heavy and I didn't feel like trekking back up to my apartment...I just wanted to go to sleep as it had been a long week.  Further annoyed that he not once had offered to carry my bag (despite all my comments about how heavy it was), I said "can you please just see how heavy this bag is that I've been carrying all night."  He took the bag from me and replied "Oh wow! That is heavy!"  Then he gave the bag back to me.

The next day he didn't even give me a kiss goodbye when I left his place.  When I got home I sent him a text message saying that this was not going to work for me.  He never responded.