Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A P.S. on Mr. Scientist

One of the things I forgot to mention about my date last night with Mr. Scientist was that we had planned to meet at 7:30 at a bar he chose.  I had a long day at work and was running behind schedule, so I asked him if we could move it to 8 p.m.  He responded "hmmm, how about 7:45?"  I was annoyed that he couldn't give me the extra 15 minutes, but agreed to meet him then nonetheless.  I got home, changed quickly, had my roommate help me with my make up and ran out of my apartment and into a cab to meet him on time.

Tonight, I got dinner with two of my friends (Roommate and Range Rover) and was telling them about my date last night, including the part about how he was willing to let me split the bill with him.  I stated my frustration with the fact that he couldn't even give me the extra 15 minutes to get ready and then on top of that he wanted to split our $10 bill...the drinks were so cheap because it was happy hour. Range Rover then pointed out what I was too oblivious to see - that he wanted to meet before 8 pm because that's probably when happy hour ended.  He wanted to ensure that he wouldn't have to pay for more than 1 happy hour priced drink!!!  To confirm, Roommate called the bar to see what time/days happy hour was and sure enough it's every Monday through Thursday until 8 p.m. 

So, this guy not only wouldn't give me 15 minutes extra to get ready after a long, rushed day at work.  But, he did it to make sure he wouldn't have to spend more than $5 on my drink.  Real classy.

Mr. Scientist (or Cheapo as I will now refer to him) texted me tonight.  I am yet to decide whether to respond.  Although I'm leaning towards no, I'll give it until tomorrow to decide.  If I do go out with him again, it'll be at a time that works for me and I may even push the envelope and suggest ordering food.  That'll show him!

Party Boat and Mr. Scientist

I know I haven't written since my ending it with Mr. Quiet and I apologize because I'm sure you're all sitting by your computers incessently hitting refresh hoping to read about new dating adventures.  Unfortunately though, there is nothing terribly exciting to report.

While there haven't been any reassuring experiences lately, I am still going on dates and seeing what's out there.  This past Sunday, I had plans to go on a singles' cruise type of party.  It sounded like a fun idea in theory...I went with two friends and we first, wisely, had about three glasses of wine at one of our apartments.  Slightly buzzed and even less slightly hopeful, we ventured to the party boat.  Upon arrival, we took one look at the line of freaks people waiting to board the boat, and instantly knew this was not where we would find our dream men. Or any men really for that matter, as most of the people there were scantily clad girls who didn't seem to mind the fact that it was 40 degrees out and they were wearing clothes no bigger than my hand towels.

We quickly decided to ditch the party boat and took our dressed-up selves to a fun beer bar (I happen to have pissed off the owner of this bar once but it was fine, because I wasn't planning to use my credit card, so they'd have no way of knowing who I was).  The three of us ordered flights of beer and discussed men and dating and it ended up being a really nice night.  The best part?  I was at home by 9 and in bed by 10! 

Then, last night I went out with a guy who I'll call Mr. Scientist.  He was cute, really smart and had a really interesting job.  He studies genetics looking for indications of mental illness (I think that's the gist of it...but, I could be way off).  I was interested in his profession, so I asked a million questions, mainly about how to tell if one will eventually suffer a mental breakdown and lose his/her mind.  But, then I began to worry that maybe he thought I was asking for my own personal knowledge.  So, I cooled it on the mental illness talk.

The date was o.k...nothing special.  By 10 pm, I was getting tired and we had run out of things to talk about, so he kept laughing nervously and I kept racking my brain for another question to ask.  Finally, he got the bill and I offered to split it with him.  He said, it's up to you if you want to...but, you don't have to.  That annoyed me, so I said, ok thanks and put my wallet away.  The old Ruby would've split it because she felt bad.  The current Ruby is over that.

On top of that, when we left the bar, he kept putting his arms around me in an attempt to warm me up and laughing.  As we all know by now, I do not appreciate this type unwelcome touching.  Maybe I'm more reserved than others, but seriously, if I'm not reciprocating, then keep your hands to yourself buddy.

That's all for now.  I contemplated sharing a few more stories of bad dates from last year.  But, I'm thinking it's best to just look forward and hope for better.  Examples of those include: the guy who asked me on the first date to go back to his apartment to smoke pot , the British low talker, and the Aussie who I was having a great time with only to have the three hour date end awkwardly and then never hear from him again.  Good times.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A True Good Guy: Update on Mr. Quiet

So, a couple of posts ago, I wrote about my dates with Mr. Quiet and I left off stating that I had a dinner date with him last Saturday night.  Here's how that went down:

I met him at a Thai restaurant in Hell's Kitchen - third date and he was still picking the place and making the plans, which I thought was really nice of him.  Dinner was ok.  We had to wait for our table, so we sat at the bar and he offered to get us drinks.  It was pretty packed and I watched him trying to get the bartender's attention...he just kind of stood there, half raising his hand to be noticed.  If it were me, I would've squeezed myself into the crowd and would've politely asserted myself. 

After he got us drinks we chatted at the bar for a little.  He told me about how he went snowboarding with some friends last week and how his friend's car's window had broken.  He said that he and his friends didn't haggle with insurance or something of that nature and it reminded me of the time my car broke down while driving to Canada because the mechanic who performed an oil change on it earlier that day forgot to put the cap back in properly.  I told him that I had been really agressive and refused to take no from the insurance company everytime they told me they weren't responsible for something.  At this point, I was having trouble hiding my disappointment that he was so reserved and laid-back.

When we sat down to eat, I found it difficult to keep up conversation with him.  It seemed like again I was asking all the questions and everytime he was answering, I was already thinking about what to ask next so that there wouldn't be any awkward silence.  At one point we discussed books we had read and were currently reading.  Luckily that took up a good amount of time and his comments reflected his intelligence, which I liked a lot.

After dinner, this shy guy surprisingly said to me "so, instead of going to a bar, do you want to just come back to my apartment?" I was shocked and even though I didn't want to, I agreed because I felt bad saying no!  He was so sweet, how could I shoot him down?!  It was probably a bad idea in hindsight. 

We walked over to his apartment in silence for the most part because I had started to feel really awkward and uncomfortable.  When we got upstairs he asked if I wanted to watch a movie.  Unable to commit to being there for two hours, I suggeseted we watch episodes of Bored to Death (it came up on his Netflix).  He put the show on and turned off the lights and I became a statue.  The closer he got to me and the more he kept touching me, the more still I became.  I felt bad and at the same time felt angry that he wasn't picking up on my hesitations.  After the episode was over, he kissed me and I made up an excuse for having to leave.  He tried to kiss me some more and I went along with it for a few more minutes.  Not wanting to be there and not wanting to lead him on any further, I said I had to go.

I was mad at myself that here I had this pefectly sweet, smart guy and I wasn't into him. One of the things I loved the most about my ex was his ability to converse with complete strangers (he would strike up conversations with people at weddings, with cab drivers, anyone!) and the ease with which he made friends in any situation.  He was confident and outgoing and I realize now that those are qualities I find important in a man.

I told a few of my friends about my date with Mr. Quiet and how I hated myself for not liking him.  They each said that it's fine to not be into someone, but that I couldn't lead him on...so, if he asked to see me again, I would have to say no. 

Mr. Quiet texted me Monday night to ask how my day was and if I wanted to go out with him again this week.  With shaky hands, I texted him back that I thought was awesome and so nice, but wasn't feeling this at the moment.  He later responded that he was sorry it didn't work out and wished me luck in my search for someone.  A truly sweet and mature guy.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

The Drunkard

This past Wednesday I went out with a guy who I will call "The Drunkard."  He works down the street from where I work and he lives down the street from where I live.  Yet for some reason we met at a bar about thirty blocks away from us.  This may not seem like a big deal, but when you're going on several dates a week and taking a cab there and back so as to be punctual, that adds up! 

He had texted me while I was in the cab saying that the bar we were going to go to was packed so we should go somewhere else.  I suggested a place I knew to be relatively quiet to the others in the area and he said that was fine.  I got out of the cab and met at him outside the bar he was apparently drinking at for the past forty minutes.  He went to hug me hello and he reeeeeeked of booze.  Sexy.

As were were walking to the bar we passed a cute wine bar and I said, let's just go in here.  We sat at the bar and hilarity/misery ensued.  At first we were talking, asking each other questions about our jobs, our families, etc etc.  That was all fine.  But, in the amount of time it took me to have a few sips of my glass of wine, he had downed a giant mug of beer.  He was then onto beer number two (at this place, I'm not sure how many he had by himself at the prior bar). 

He started slurring his words a little and was in the middle of telling me about a beer garden in Pittsburgh where they sing a funny song - and then he starts singing the song.  I was trying so hard not to crack up when he was singing about the tall, tall giraffes and how the little fishes swim and whatever other animals were involved in that awful song. 

After that he thought he was hysterical so he kept laughing randomly and asking me questions that he forgot he had already asked me five minutes ago.  When I repeated my answers, he'd laugh even harder.  And one point he was telling me something with his finger pointed right in my face.  I almost smacked his hand away. 

It was after he got up to pee for the second time and was holding his crotch and doing a little bit of the pee-pee dance that I decided I needed to get out of there.  When he came back from the bathroom, he asked me for the second time if I wanted to get food and again I said no.  I told him that I wasn't going to be able to finish my wine and that I was ready to go.  He got the check and then pushed it away and continued to ask me more questions that he already asked me.  I couldn't sit there with the drunkard anymore so I pointed to the bill and asked if we should split it.  He said he got it and I quickly put on my coat and jumped off my seat (at this point, he was practically sitting in my lap because he kept leaning over into me with each sip of beer).  I thanked him and quickly walked away in the opposite direction.

Dates like this make me really appreciate Mr. Quiet even if I do have to do all the talking. 

Mr. Quiet

So, in the last few weeks I've been out twice with a guy we will call "Mr. Quiet."  I wasn't expecting much from our first date, but I had bought a new bracelet that day and was excited to have a reason to where my new sparkly purchase.  (I  love to plan my meals and my outfits - the best dates are where I can do both) 

We went for drinks at a bar by my apartment - he offered to come up to my neighborhood and he picked the place - so, at least I knew he was a nice guy who put some effort into our first date.  The date was about two hours long and was surprisingly pleasant!

The next day he texted me that he had a great time with me and hopefully we'd hang out again soon.  I loved that he was so nice and said that we should definitely go out again.  I figured we'd go to dinner or something, but he asked me if I wanted to play pool or ping pong or go to dinner.  I really just wanted to go to dinner seeing as how I hadn't played pool or ping pong in probably ten years or so and didn't even know where we'd go to do that.  But, I didn't want to offend him just in case he was a hardcore ping pong player or something.  So, I went along with this new activity and thought "hey, who knows, maybe I'll emerge as a professional ping pong star."  (I'm always looking for ways to not have to go to work anymore).

We ended up going to Slate in Chelsea, which is a fun/normal place.  It was a little odd at first because it was only our second date and you obvioulsy can't converse while standing on opposite ends of a ping pong table.  We mainly stood there smacking the ball back and forth and broke up the silence by joking about how bad I was.  Which was fine...I was glad to contribute.  I clearly knew nothing about the game, so I trusted him to keep score fairly - I was always somewhere in between zero and two points per game, so he really just had to keep count for himself.

After we were done playing we finished our drinks and chatted a little.  I noticed though that he was sort of quiet and I found myself asking most of the questions and trying to keep the conversation going.  It's not my usual role as I'm not super talkative and outgoing, but I can be if the guy I'm with is.  Still though, he was nice, pleasant to look at and I was having a good time.

After Slate we went to dinner at a place his friend recommended and I felt at times it was a little awkward because he wasn't so talkative.  I kept asking questions and while he was speaking I was thinking, "what can I ask next so there's no silence?" 

We found things to talk about luckily and then left shortly after finishing dinner. He offered to split a cab going uptown even though it entailed him walking two avenues after he got out.  I thought that was really sweet of him.  However, once we were in the cab, this quiet/shy guy grabs my hand to hold and that really caught me off guard because I am soooo not a fan of the forced hand hold.  I hate it!!!!!  I felt so awkard...I just kept my hand held out while he held it and we sat in silence during the cab ride.  Oddly enough, when he kissed me before getting out of the cab, that felt perfectly fine...but, the hand hold really freaked me out.  Go figure.

I'm going out to dinner with Mr. Quiet tonight and am excited/interested to see how it goes.  While I don't feel like "omg, I can't wait to see him again!" I do enjoy my time with him and am willing to see where it goes.  Updates to follow :)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Interviewer

I feel the need to share a recent email I've gotten from a guy on the dating site.  Please note that this guy has emailed me before at least twice and I've ignored each email, as I'm not interest. The comments in red are what I would say if I were to bump my head and write back.


I"m --------- a recent addition to the Upper East Side Neighborhood which was a dream of mine for years to live in Manhattan but a life long born NYer. I'm from Upstate Poughkeepsie where my family and my best friends still reside and they both mean the world to me.

I am very laid back, outgoing, ambitous, caring, love to laugh at myself and others of course. A typical guy guy who loves his sports, sportcenter but I would like to take advantage of other things that NYC has to offer.

Some questions for you.

Where do you like to travel to? 
Me: I love tropical places and would love to explore Europe more.
Iran. I hear it's beautiful this time of year.

What do you find most attractive in a guy?
Me: In a lady I like a great smile, cute laugh, family values and educated.
His left testicle.
Who would you have as a dinner guests if you can choose anyone? 
Me: Jamie Dimon, George Washington and FDR
You, big boy!

What is something about you that would be surprising? 
Me: I won a spelling bee in the 4th grade
I used to be a man.

Maybe it's mean of me to laugh at his expense.  But, come on...what are you thinking sending this to girls?!? (Especially to one who has already ignored your attempts at Q&A conversation!