Some lawyers write briefs and memos. I write passages in a book, which I like to call my "bad date journal." I have decided today to bring my entertaining stories to the mass public. Or, to at least the ten or so of you who have already heard all my stories. Now you can read them too. You're welcome.
Growing up, I was practically raised by my grandparents. My grandma has done everything for me and loves me very much, but she's always considered my height and my fortunate slender figure a disability. So, you can imagine that while I was in a four year relationship with a great guy, she was very happy that I had someone who would presumably marry me and some day impregnate me. As she explained to him one summer when we went to visit her in Croatia, "she very weak, she no have strength, I not know how she finish law school." My then boyfriend, very politely said to her "oh no, she's not weak at all...she's very strong!" He meant it because we went through more in four years together than what some people go through in an entire lifetime. Between, my grandparents moving back to Croatia for good, law school, bar exams and the untimely passing of his younger sister to cancer, we were a huge source of mental and emotional support for each other.
After we both finished taking the New York Bar Exam and had found jobs, we did what most people who have been dating for four years do, we moved in together (August 2010). Our relationship had not been good for quite a bit of time at this point, but I was in denial and figured things would get better once we moved in together. Boy was I wrong.
About half way through our lease and after may days and nights of fighting, we ended our relationship (February 2011). My ex moved out, but thankfully continued to pay half the rent and utilities. But, this was a double-edged sword because while it enabled me to continue living in my glamourous fifth floor walk up and according to the lifestyle to which I had grown accustomed, it also meant that we were still frequently communicating with each other. (ex: "I need to come by to drop off the rent check", I need to come pick up my mail and "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, COME HERE NOWWWW AND KILL THIS ROACH, I'M TERRIFIED OF IT AND I CAN'T EVEN GET TO MY XANEX BECAUSE IT'S NEAR THE BATHROOM.") The last quote was from me.
So, after a four year hiatus and some time to heal, I was back in the dating scene. I had not missed it.
After a few months of dating various guys and a five month stint with a semi-retarded man-child, I decided to make a compilation of my depressingly funny stories. I continue to add to it as it provides great comic relief. I hope you will all enjoy!