About a month ago, I went out with a guy who I will call "The Grown Up Frat Boy" or "D-Bag" for short. I met him on the online dating site and we chatted for about a week before meeting up. He was funny, sweet, smart and cute and I was so looking forward to our first date. Like the gentleman he purported to be, he offered to come up to my neighborhood (he lived on the opposite side of town and further down) and gave me enough time to go home after work to shower and primp. So far so good.
We met at a wine bar by my apartment and I'm not exaggerating when I say it was one of the best dates ever! We were there for four hours and the whole time there wasn't a single pause in conversation. At one point I had to pee so badly I had to cut him off mid-sentence. During our fabulous conversation, he told me that he had a friend's charity event coming up and asked if I'd like to go with him....a little odd, I know, but I was so excited I said "ok!" He further told me that he wants to meet a girl and get married within a year of dating and have kids. I got even more excited and said "go on, I like what I'm hearing!" Of course, I'd later find out that's exactly why he was saying all this nonsense.
He also told me about what he did for a living. He got laid off from an investment bank and decided to turn his part-time party planning company into a full time venture. He was doing this and studying for the GMATs so that he could go to business school starting next year. On the first date I was impressed that he started his own successful business. But, what I should've paid attention to was the fact that his business obligated him to go out to various clubs every night and that he was constantly surrounded by girls who would do almost anything to get into said clubs. Whatever though, I was having an awesome time with him!
At the end of our four hour date, he told me that he wanted to get drinks the following week and then have a proper dinner date the week after when he was done with his exam. I was ready to marry the guy.
The next morning as I sat in my dermatologist's office about to get my blood taken so that I could start Accutane in a month (another huge victory!), I decided to text him "Hey, thanks again for last night...I had a lot of fun!" He never responded.
Seven days went by before I heard from him again. And, what did he say to me on that seventh day? "Hey, what's up?" I figured he probably just sent that as a mass text to a whole bunch of girls, so I decided to play his game too. He texted me at 1:30 pm so, I waited until 9 pm and replied "not much, you?" He then called me ten minutes later. He told me that he'd been really busy studying for the GMATs and that he had just gotten back from his tutor. He was brushing his teeth and on his way out to meet up with some friends. He told me that he wanted to see me again and that his test would be done on Tuesday...but, that he would probably go out with his buddies to celebrate. I said that I actually already had plans on Tuesday, so that wouldn't work anyway. We debated between Wednesday and Thursday and selected Wednesday because he stated he wanted to see me sooner rather than later.
Wednesday came and by noon I still hadn't heard from him. So, I texted him, "hey, what's the deal for tonight?" He replied that he hadn't given it much thought because he went out the night before and got wasted with his friends. Nice, I thought to myself. He asked me where I wanted to go and because I was annoyed I chose a bar right by my apartment. D-Bag then said that he didn't want to come up to the upper east side and asked if we could go somewhere more in the middle. I should've just cancelled the date because I was so annoyed, but I had really been looking forward to it. So, I suggested a place halfway between us but still on the east side of the city for me. We agreed to meet there at 8.
It was another really great date. I was out until 12:45 am with him....and, that's huge because I try to be in bed by 10:30 on weeknights. We got food and drinks and had some more really great conversations. This time though, I noticed some things that I probably had overlooked on the first date. While we were at the bar he noticed his friend was there on a date as well. He told me that his really cute female friend was in love with that guy and that they all thought that guy liked her as well. He had to tell his possee right away of what was happening. He called his other buddy at the table to tell him about how that guy was out with some cute girl, but yeah, female-friend was way cuter. Neither of them could believe the injustice that was being done to female-friend. I thought this was all pretty rude. I couldn't care less about the dating drama within his group of friends.
Then he told me about how he had been out with his frat brothers one night (recently) and they had all gotten arrested for something, but he luckily had a set of handcuff keys on him so he was able to get them all out and they were able to run away. Why did he have a set of handcuff keys on him you ask? For sexual purposes, of course. He apparently does not leave home unprepared.
Besides his stories, he also asked me a series of questions, such as "do you think I'm attractive?" and "what color underwear are you wearing?" and, my favorite, "I have a 28 year old friend who's a virgin would you want to sleep with him?" This was all towards the end of the night, so luckily it didn't go on for too long before I ultimately said it was late and I had to go.
Another week had gone by and I still hadn't heard from him regarding the next date. So, I stupidly decided to text him asking when were we going to get together again and telling him that Friday was the only night I was free (this was true). He told me that he had to see first whether his cousin could get him Knicks tickets for that night and would let me know early on Friday. Friday came and went, Saturday came and went, Sunday came and went and I had not heard from him. Monday night he sent me a message on facebook stating "Sorry I've been MIA, it's a long story...want to get drinks tomorrow night?" I wrote back the next day saying "I can't, I'm busy." He then asked "tomorrow?" I said I had tentative plans and that I'd let him know tomorrow. Then he suggested Thursday. I said "if not tomorrow, then maybe Thursday." He said "ok, ha." He knew that I was doing exactly what he did and I guess he wanted to be the D-bag winner in this odd power struggle we were in.
Wednesday afternoon I texted him saying "hey, I can't do drinks tonight, but I can do tomorrow night." He responded "that should work." I suggested we get dinner and drinks at this place in Murray Hill that I've been wanting to check out and he replied that he already had dinner plans, but that he'd do drinks there because he knows the manager. I said that if we were doing drinks only I'd rather go up by my apartment because I was going away for the weekend and needed to pack. I figured if I had to go home first, I might as well pack and then go out for drinks and didn't want to go back downtown, especially for this D-bag. He, however, insisted we meet somewhere in the middle because his dinner plans were all the way downtown. About 30 minutes later he texted me that he forgot he had his GMAT tutor on Thursday from 6 to 8 pm, but that he'd be willing to get drinks at 9 (still not offering to come up to my neighborhood even though he didn't have to get up early for work or anything) and that he would like to shower after his tutor. I said that was a little late for me and that maybe we'd get together another night. He texted me some meaningless banter after that and that was it.
I'm not sure if I expect to hear from him again or not. All I know is that nothing good can possibly come from this guy. It's a shame because we did have a really good time out together. It also worries me that the next time I have a great date with a guy, I'm going to spend the whole time wondering whether it won't work out again. I guess I'll just try to keep a open mind and look for characteristics similar those possessed by D-bag. If I spot them, I will run far, far away.
I have some more dates lined up for the coming week. I'm hoping they go well...but, if not...stay tuned for more stories.