So, once again, I'm back after a brief hiatus. During my time off from writing, I dated a man who turned out to be a big let down. I then took some time off from dating all together. And, then I remembered how much I want to get married, so, I got back in it.
I met secret agent man on a dating site back in the early spring. We made plans to meet at 7 pm on a Wednesday at a wine bar in midtown. I got there on time and he of course showed up about an hour late. It wasn't all so bad though, while I was sitting there at the bar waiting for my date to show up, the bartender gave me free bruschetta. I think he pitied me...but, free food is free food.
When my date finally showed up, he was on the shorter side and very built. I usually go for taller, skinnier, nerdy looking guys. So, he was definitely different. The date itself was fine...we stayed for three drinks...he was extremely flirtatious and maybe it was the wine, but I kind of thought he was getting cuter. When the date was over he asked if I wanted to go out with him Saturday night. I said sure, figuring "eh, what the heck."
By Saturday though, I thought about it again and convinced myself he wasn't for me. I didn't like his chosen profession because it involved him traveling ALL the time (I figured when would I ever get to know him because he really was a secret agent man for the government. I made him show me several forms of ID on the first date because I didn't believe he was telling me his real name). Plus, I thought he had a huge neck and I didn't like his last name. I've been told that the last two reasons were "stupid."
I ended up cancelling on him for our Saturday night date, thinking I wasn't that into him. I could tell he was disappointed when I cancelled...I felt bad, but didn't think much about it.
That following Monday, he texted me saying that he had a great time with me the previous week and would like to see me again if I have any interest. I thought that took some balls, so decided to give it a shot. We made plans to hang out the following week, as of course, he was away for work that week.
To make a very long story short, we continued to see each other over the next few weeks. He did everything right and my friends all agreed that he sounded wonderful. He was constantly in touch with me, made plans to see me every time he wasn't away for work, would say the sweetest things to me, would talk about the future (which included me), wanted to come out with me and my friends so he could meet them. I thought this must be it...the classic story of girl doesn't like guy at first, but he persists and she ends up falling in love with him! I was smitten.
One Saturday night after we had gone out with his friend, we came back to my apartment and he told me that he was worried that I didn't like him as much as he liked me. I think this stemmed from our previous weekend's conversation where he asked me if I was still seeing other people. I, taken aback, said "yes, but not actively." He told me that he wasn't. So, to reassure him that I definitely did like him (which, at this point I clearly did), I told him that I didn't want to see anyone else. We went to bed and the next morning, he asked if he could take me out Wednesday night to celebrate what would be my first day of work at my new job. I said yes and felt comforted by the fact that I would get to see him after my first day at a brand new job.
Monday came and went and I didn't hear from him at all. I thought that was odd because in the almost two months we had been dating, he texted me at least once a day to say hi. Tuesday came and by 6 p.m. I still hadn't heard from him. Nervous, I texted him asking where he wanted to go for dinner the next night. Three hours went by and no response. I texted him again asking if everything was ok. He wrote back "sorry, can't make it tomorrow night, going to California." I was dumbfounded. I asked if he was going for work, and all he said was "yeah." He never wished me luck on my first day and never mentioned wanting to see me when he was back. All of a sudden, out of the complete blue, he ghosted. I texted him three times that following week asking if he could explain why he disappeared, especially after we had just agreed not to see other people. A week later he finally responded and acted as though nothing unusual had happened. He said he wanted to take me out Saturday night, but I knew at this point he wasn't to be trusted. All I said was "sure, let me know." He never spoke to me again.
This wasn't the first time a guy disappeared after things were going seemingly so well. But, it was the first time a guy disappeared with no warning signs whatsoever! The only explanation I could come up with was that he was a nut job who just wanted to see if I would agree not to see other people. He had brought up several times how he was disappointed when I cancelled our second date. And, I knew that he had once been engaged, but broke it off when he found out that his ex-fiancé had been cheating on him while he was in the army. So, maybe I just got caught up with someone who had serious issues with rejection. Oy.
Eventually, I started to get over it, and went on more dates hoping to find my future husband. Details to follow.