The Boys of Summer

So, this summer I've been seeing two guys, both non-committal/ ineligible bachelor types. But, I'm not here to discuss that today. Rather, I'd like to talk about the gay and/or hipsters I've been on dates with in the meantime. 

A few weeks ago, I went out with a guy who chose a cute wine bar not far from his apartment. When he showed up, I was pleasantly surprised by his appearance. And then when he spoke, I thought "f****, here we go again." He spent most of our date talking about how hard it is to meet new male friends these days and about his buddy who he often comes to the wine bar with.

I just drank my wine and counted down the minutes until I could leave. When we had finished, he called over the waiter that he seemed to be friendly with.  I almost died when he raised his hand and said "Ufti, can we get the check?" in the most flamboyant accent. After that I went drunk shopping at trader joes. Just another regular monday night. 

Last night I went out with a guy on the lower east side, which is about 5378473 hours from where I live. I later found out that he had me meet him at a bar that he was already at as he was having a "meeting" there. I was so depressed when I got off the subway and began my walk to the overly loud and crowded bar, I ended up stopping for an eclair. I got a huge one and ate it while I walked to the bar. I felt so over it that I paid no mind to the bits of chocolate that fell down my shirt and felt no shame as I stuffed my face with the delicious pastry. Instantly, my spirits were lifted. 

When I got to the bar, it was so loud that we ended up walking even further away to another crowded bar. My date was either gay or a hipster. I couldn't really tell. Either way, not for me. He was nice enough, but after one sangria and some meatballs, I just wanted to begin my long trek home. Fortunately, he took my hint and I was home bound after one round. 

Dating is hard enough. Do we really need to be wasting each other's time going out with people who don't even meet the preferred gender criteria? Come on!

Powder Blue Khaki Pants

I think my first date after the secret agent man was with a guy who was the stereotypical NYC, finance, I love myself so much type.

We met at Eataly on a Thursday night to get drinks at the rooftop beer garden. I gave him points for good selection.  When he got there, he didn't know where to find me, so I told him to stay where he was and I'd go to him. When I first saw him, I thought "you've got to be kidding me."  He was decked out in powder blue khaki pants, a polo, sunglasses, and white boat shoes.  Now, I have nothing against boat shoes...I own a pair myself, actually.  But, I knew this wasn't just a man who was fashion-forward...this guy was going to be a d-bag.

The rooftop bar was packed, so we decided to get some drinks and food at the seafood restaurant counter.  Right after we sat down, two people asked us if we could move over one seat so that they could sit next to each other.  I said sure, and moved one seat to my right.  He moved one seat to his left.  Realizing he had no intention of inconveniencing himself, I slid myself over to sit next to him. We talked for a long time, mainly about how smart he is, how he's so rich, how companies fight to have him work for them, etc. etc.  I

After that we moved on to another wine bar, where we split a bottle of wine and a Cuban sandwich. I had suggested the latter.  We had more of the same conversation, but I had a good buzz going, plus my food.  So, I was fine.  After that we moved on to another restaurant for dessert.  He suggested sharing something, but I wasn't willing to share my cheesecake.  So, we each got dessert and another drink and fortunately, I barely remember what we talked about.  After that I was done, so we split a cab uptown...he kissed me out of nowhere and then luckily we were at his stop. I didn't hear from him again, but I wasn't that disappointed.  At least I had gotten some good food out of the ordeal. 

Secret Agent Man

So, once again, I'm back after a brief hiatus.  During my time off from writing, I dated a man who turned out to be a big let down.  I then took some time off from dating all together.  And, then I  remembered how much I want to get married, so, I got back in it. 

I met secret agent man on a dating site back in the early spring.  We made plans to meet at 7 pm on a Wednesday at a wine bar in midtown.  I got there on time and he of course showed up about an hour late.  It wasn't all so bad though, while I was sitting there at the bar waiting for my date to show up, the bartender gave me free bruschetta.  I think he pitied me...but, free food is free food.

When my date finally showed up, he was on the shorter side and very built.  I usually go for taller, skinnier, nerdy looking guys.  So, he was definitely different.  The date itself was fine...we stayed for three drinks...he was extremely flirtatious and maybe it was the wine, but I kind of thought he was getting cuter.  When the date was over he asked if I wanted to go out with him Saturday night.  I said sure, figuring "eh, what the heck."

By Saturday though, I thought about it again and convinced myself he wasn't for me.  I didn't like his chosen profession because it involved him traveling ALL the time (I figured when would I ever get to know him because he really was a secret agent man for the government. I made him show me several forms of ID on the first date because I didn't believe he was telling me his real name).  Plus, I thought he had a huge neck and I didn't like his last name.  I've been told that the last two reasons were "stupid."

I ended up cancelling on him for our Saturday night date, thinking I wasn't that into him.  I could tell he was disappointed when I cancelled...I felt bad, but didn't think much about it. 

That following Monday, he texted me saying that he had a great time with me the previous week and would like to see me again if I have any interest.  I thought that took some balls, so decided to give it a shot.  We made plans to hang out the following week, as of course, he was away for work that week.

To make a very long story short, we continued to see each other over the next few weeks.  He did everything right and my friends all agreed that he sounded wonderful.  He was constantly in touch with me, made plans to see me every time he wasn't away for work, would say the sweetest things to me, would talk about the future (which included me), wanted to come out with me and my friends so he could meet them.  I thought this must be it...the classic story of girl doesn't like guy at first, but he persists and she ends up falling in love with him!  I was smitten.

One Saturday night after we had gone out with his friend, we came back to my apartment and he told me that he was worried that I didn't like him as much as he liked me.  I think this stemmed from our previous weekend's conversation where he asked me if I was still seeing other people.  I, taken aback, said "yes, but not actively."  He told me that he wasn't.  So, to reassure him that I definitely did like him (which, at this point I clearly did), I told him that I didn't want to see anyone else.  We went to bed and the next morning, he asked if he could take me out Wednesday night to celebrate what would be my first day of work at my new job.  I said yes and felt comforted by the fact that I would get to see him after my first day at a brand new job.

Monday came and went and I didn't hear from him at all. I thought that was odd because in the almost two months we had been dating, he texted me at least once a day to say hi.  Tuesday came and by 6 p.m. I still hadn't heard from him.  Nervous, I texted him asking where he wanted to go for dinner the next night.  Three hours went by and no response.  I texted him again asking if everything was ok.  He wrote back "sorry, can't make it tomorrow night, going to California."  I was dumbfounded.  I asked if he was going for work, and all he said was "yeah."  He never wished me luck on my first day and never mentioned wanting to see me when he was back.  All of a sudden, out of the complete blue, he ghosted.  I texted him three times that following week asking if he could explain why he disappeared, especially after we had just agreed not to see other people.  A week later he finally responded and acted as though nothing unusual had happened.  He said he wanted to take me out Saturday night, but I knew at this point he wasn't to be trusted. All I said was "sure, let me know."  He never spoke to me again.

This wasn't the first time a guy disappeared after things were going seemingly so well.  But, it was the first time a guy disappeared with no warning signs whatsoever!  The only explanation I could come up with was that he was a nut job who just wanted to see if I would agree not to see other people.  He had brought up several times how he was disappointed when I cancelled our second date.  And, I knew that he had once been engaged, but broke it off when he found out that his ex-fiancé had been cheating on him while he was in the army.  So, maybe I just got caught up with someone who had serious issues with rejection.  Oy.

Eventually, I started to get over it, and went on more dates hoping to find my future husband.  Details to follow.

The Cultural Side of Dating

The Sober Croatian Guy - I met a guy who also has Croatian grandparents and was hopeful.  I figured he would probably have similar values and was hopefully raised to be a gentleman.  We met up at a wine bar one Sunday night, where he informed me right away that he does not drink.  Perplexed and disappointed, I asked if he wanted to go somewhere else, but luckily he said no.  So, I ordered a glass of wine and he ordered a glass of water.  My curiosity got the best of me and I ended up asking what made him give up alcohol forever.  He then informed me of the following: He used to have a drinking problem and was fresh out of a relationship with a party animal who does cocaine and that he is still friends with her.  He also told me about how he hates his job at a big law firm and that he wants to quit and find something else to do with his life.  I told him that most lawyers hate their jobs and asked him if maybe he was overreacting. But, he wasn't...he wants to find that special job that makes him happy now that he's turned over a new leaf and has quit drinking (but yet still hangs out with his coke head ex girlfriend).  I wonder what his grandparents would say about this.  I can tell you that mine, along with the entire village they live in, would be in an uproar if I was making these choices.

The Syrian - As the title suggests, this guy is Syrian. His parents came to the U.S. when he was little and he grew up in Houston, TX. I met up with him at a wine bar on a Thursday night and had a great time.  He was cute, funny, very smart and seemed to pretty successful in his career.  The next day he texted me that he had fun and invited me to a birthday party his friend was throwing in the West Village Saturday night.  I thought it was a little too soon for an invite like that, but agreed to go nevertheless. 

We first got drinks at a speakeasy in the East Village, which was great and then headed over to this birthday party.  It was no ordinary b-day party.  First of all, the apartment was more of a mansion - a mansion located next door to Hugh Jackman's mansion.  All the girls there were decked out in the most expensive designers (Hermes, Louboutin, Chanel, etc...) and most of the guys were dressed like d-bags.  Fortunately, this was not his usual crew.  He assured me that he thought the party was way over the top and that he really had just wanted to check out this apartment that he had heard so much about. 

About half way through the night, I resolved to have a good time despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable.  So, I went to the bar that was being manned by two model-ish women and began drinking grey goose and sodas very rapidly.  Sure enough, I ended up having a great time with the Syrian at the party...we laughed and kissed and made fun of everyone there.  Afterwards, I didn't want the night to end, so we went back to his place (where don't worry, nothing happened). 

The next morning we talked for three hours while laying around in bed and then went out for coffee.  He was leaving for London on Monday (for work), but asked if I wanted to see him when he got back.  We emailed each day that he was away and when he got back we exchanged some funny text messages re Hugh Jackman and the party we had experienced together.  Then, Sunday night we went to dinner, which was a lot of fun and back to his place to watch 60 minutes.  Instead of watching the show though, we made out and went to bed like the old people that we are.

I'm not sure what happened after that because he didn't ask me to hang out again.  I thought things were fine and while I wasn't exactly convinced this was the guy I was going to marry, I still enjoyed my time with him.  It would've been nice to go out a few more times.  I guess the good thing is at least now I don't have to debate whether I should marry into a Syrian family or not.  Always looking at the positive.

The Squash Player

After things ended with the sort of boyfriend, I went back on the online dating site so that I could go out on dates and hopefully spend less time thinking about how sad I was.  The squash player didn't really help with this.

His profile said he was 35 years old, lived in the city and under occupation it said "squash player/stock market junkie" and he looked super cute in his pictures.  I figured he was in finance or something and played squash in his spare time.  Turns out it was the opposite - he teaches children how to play squash somewhere in New Jersey. 

He chose a random pub by his apartment and I met him there one evening a few weeks ago.  I noticed two things right off the bat: (1) he wore a gold band on his right hand finger and (2) he was gay.

The first thing I said to him upon seeing the ring was "Oh, are you married?"  He said "no" and explained that he has been wearing his dad's wedding band since he was 14 years old.  I naturally wondered if his father had passed away and was that why he wore his wedding band.  Nope.  He said his dad took the ring off one day when he was 14, so he took it from the counter and has been wearing it since.  He further explained that he's not used to having to explain why he wears it becuase he just got out of a 7 year relationship with a girl 8 years his junior. I was really thrown for a loop with all this information and the fact that he stated it all in a super flamboyant manner.

I had so many questions for him, but it was ridiculously loud at the pub we were in.  So, he suggested we go next door to a Brasserie that opened recently.  We went to that bar and it was much more quiet as we were the only customers there.  My date spent most of the evening chatting up the male bartender, but I got a few questions in here and there. I found out that he had started seeing the "girlfriend" of 7 years when he was 28 and she was 20.  I found it weird that a 28 year old man would date a 20 year old girl.  I found it even more weird that during the course of their 7 year relationship, they never lived together.  Honestly, I found everything weird about him.

At one point, he asked me for advice on dating women since he'd been out of the scene for so long.  In my head, I thought, let's be real here, you don't like women.  But, it was not my place to tell him that if he hadn't realized it already.  So, instead I said "well, you could start by taking off the wedding band."  To this, he BLEW UP at me! Out of nowhere he started going off on me saying that he already explained why he wears it and his ex never had a problem with it.  I tried to calm him down and explain to him that he asked me for advice and that I was simply indicating how it came off as a first impression.  He told me that I was so judgmental for not understanding about the gold wedding band.  Then I said, "why don't you wear it on a chain as a neckalace and tuck it into your shirt?"  His response: "Won't that make me look gay?"
I had enough at that point.  And, apparently, so had he because he was still huffing and puffing over the fact that I suggested he not wear the wedding band on dates.  I asked him if he was ok, and he threw his hands up in the air and grunted or something.  Luckily he decided to just pay the bill at that point and I was free of his craziness. 

More than anything, I was annoyed that despite it being extrememly clear that he was gay (his manuerisms, his flirting with the bartender, his never having lived with his "girlfriend" of 7 years, etc...) he decided it was ok to waste my time by asking me out.  There are plenty of other loonies I could've gone out with who at least would've potentially put a ring on my finger some day.

The Sort of Boyfriend

It might be hard for me to fully explain the story of the Sort of Boyfriend because I think I'm still trying to understand what exactly happened.  Here goes:

I went out with this guy for the first time in mid-December.  He picked a bar up by me and we met up for brunch on a Sunday.  When he got there he advised me that he would only be drinking ginger ale because he went out to dinner the night before with his friends and overstuffed himself.  I completely understood. 

We had an ok time and at the end of it, I thought ehh, I could go out with him again or not.  He texted me a bit over the next few days just to say hi, which I like and then he asked me out again for the following week.  We went out to dinner to a Mexican place by me which he picked.  When we got there I realized he hadn't made a reservation...I figured it was just because he was a guy and guys forget to do things like make reservations for dinner on a Friday night.  While we waited for a table, we sat at the bar and had a margarita.  I took my coat and purse off and looked for a hook on which to hang them.  He took my purse from the stool and hung it on a hook for me.  I thought this simple gesture was really sweet and showed that he was attentive. 

Dinner was so much fun and after we went to a wine bar near by.  We were out until 2 am!  That is major for me.  At the end of the night, he tried to get me to come back to his place, but I said no because I was beginning to like him and thought there was real potential.  So, he hailed me a cab and kissed me goodnight. 

The next week was great...he kept in touch and we had great banter between us.  He asked me out again for after New Year's and we then went out a few more times.  Things were going so well - he always made it known that he wanted to see me, he talked to me in between dates, he was sweet and funny...I was so happy!

Three weeks into dating, we went to dinner and he invited me to go to his friend's birthday party the following weekend.  I knew he was pretty serious at that point.  I was thrilled that he asked me and was so excited to go. 

That Saturday night, I went over to his apartment first and we ordered dinner and then left for the party.  All his friends were so nice and more importantly, they were all married.  I figured since he's 32 and all his friends are married, clearly he wants to be married too.  (I believe this is what they call foreshadowing).  Anyway, my guy kept an eye on me throughout the night just to make sure I was doing ok mingling with his friends when we were split up (which I thought was very sweet and thoughtful). 

After that night, his interest did not wane.  He suggested we cook dinners together, he continued to take me out, we took a cooking class together, we were spending whole weekends together.  He even referred to me as his girlfriend.  I cannot even begin to put into words how happy I was.  I thought it was all too good to be true.  But, my friends assured me that this is how it's supposed to be when you meet a great guy.  I thought it was amzing that things were progressing so well. 

Another perk was that the photographer, upon seeing a picture of me and my guy on facebook, texted me pretending that he never fell off the face of the earth and that things were still peachy between us.  He asked what was new and how I was doing...I replied with one word answers.  Then he said that we should get together sometime.  I said "I'm seeing someone, so I don't think so."  It felt great!

The weekend before Valentine's Day, I was at his apartment, as per usual.  However, I began to feel like he wanted his space and wanted me out of there.  Of course this did not feel nice, but I understood that it was natural for him to miss his man-time.  He had been single for most of his life and I could see how it was a drastic change to go from single to all of a sudden there's a girl in his space every weekend.  So, I went home early that Sunday and backed off.  By Monday things were back to normal.  He picked a place for Valentine's Day, but again did not make a reservation.  So, I found that my favorite Mexican place had an available reservation and booked that for us. 

V-Day dinner was so nice and romatic...he showed up with roses and I had made him chocolate covered oreos, which I knew he liked.  After dinner, we went back to his apartment and watched tv and got ready for work the next morning. 

The three-day weekend after V-Day, I noticed that he wasn't texting me and that when I would text him asking how his weekend was he replied with short, snippy comments.  I began to worry. 

Still not hearing from him by Tuesday, I called him to ask why he was acting so cold.  He told me that he's never had a relationship last more than five months because everytime he gets to this point he realizes he doesn't want "the headache of a relationship"...you know, like, "having to talk about each other's days."  I was trying to understand this all.  I pointed out to him that it was he who wanted me to meet his friends, he who wanted to cook dinners together, he who wanted to spend weekends together, he who wanted to take the cooking class, etc etc.  His response?  "I know, i'm sorry."

I asked him what he wanted...he said he didn't know.  I asked him if he wanted to see other people.  He said no.  I then said that this wasn't fair to me and that he had to tell me what he wanted.  He had nothing more to say than "I don't know."  I then pointed out that he is 32 years old, that all his friends are married and that his sister has two kids and that it might be time he figures out what he wants.  I also said that I'm 29 and I know what I want - and that this flakiness was not it.  I wasn't going to be his girlfriend when he wanted one and then disappear when he was feeling too overwhelmed with the whole "headache of a relationship."  He said he understood and that was the last I've spoken to him.

If he knew that he had a history of flaking out after a few months, then he should have never led me on to think this would continue to progress.  He literally went from hot to cold in a matter of days.  I spent the next week replaying everything in my head and  re-reading all of our text messages..trying to make some sense out of everything.  It was impossible.  Instead, I just got over him a little more each day...went back on the dating site and started all over again. 

I went on a first date again the following week.  It was an adventure.  Stay tuned.

The Nice Chatty Guy

This guy was number two in the triology of my winter dating partners.  He "flirted" with me on the online dating site we were both on and then I took the reins and sent him a message.  In his profile he wrote that he couldn't stand constant emailing back and forth and thought it best to just meet for a drink.  Agreeing with this, I wrote to him "the only thing worse than emailing back and forth is texting back and forth."  To which he responded "why are you giving your number to so many of these guys?"  Touche.

I thought he was funny, so I gave him my number and told him he had 5 text messages to ask me out for a drink.  He did and we had some silly banter along the way.  The date was really nice...he picked the place and everything. One drink turned into one bottle and I found that we had a lot to talk about.  We discovered a distant connection between us when he told me all about his ex (he had just gotten out of a relationship, which is never a good thing to find out when dating) and then asked me about mine.  I told him about how our relationship had really started to fall apart after his sister passed from cancer.  Turns out he knew who I was talking about because he was dating the best friend of my ex's cousin at that time.  After we realized that he had probably already met each other a few years ago, we just kind of sat there and stared at each other.  We ended up talking about some of our memories from that horrific time and the next thing I knew, we were both crying becuase of how said it was.

On that note, we dried our eyes, got the check and he got a cab for me.  He tried to kiss me, but I was in such a weird mood from the heavy conversation we just had, that I instinctively backed away. 

When I got home that night, I texted my ex's cousin to see what he had to say about this fellow.  He gave a pretty positive review.  So, I texted the date and thanked him again and told him that I had a nice night.  From then on, we chatted over text message for the next two weeks.  And, when I say we chatted, I mean, we discussed everything under the sun.  This guy loved to talk.  I knew it probably wasn't going to go anywhere, because it sounded like he wasn't completely over his ex...but, he was nice and I enjoyed talking with him, so I went with it.  We went out again for the second time two weeks later.  It was another fun time, but I felt like there was less of a connection.  It just naturally fizzled out after that.  Plus, I was also dating guy number three (see next post) and I was more interested to see where it could go with him.

Mr. Chatty was great...he was sweet, funny, smart, a gentleman and just all around a great guy.  It sucks that there wasn't more of a connection, but maybe there will be another like him someday.

The Photographer, The Chatty Nice Guy and the Boyfriend (Kind of)

Back in November/December, I met three great guys, each of whom I dated and each story having a different outcome.  I was so happy that the dating gods were finally realizing that I had had enough negative experiences and were sending some quality men my way!

Part I of this trilogy is the Photographer:

We went out on a Saturday night and hit it off instantly.  He was a 34 year old photographer/creative director for an Ad Agency in NYC.  I liked that he wasn't the typical lawyer/finance guy that I generally meet in NYC.  After a great first date, things continued to go well.  He made plans with me in advance, would text me just to say hi and would say sweet things like "you're adorable, just wanted to let you know."  I was smitten.

We went on a few more good dates and then I noticed that he wasn't texting me as often.  After a shouting match good-natured debate with my co-worker/friend, I agreed to text him asking "when I am going to see you again?"  (I believe that in the beginning, if a man wants to see you, he will.  And, that no amount of contacting him will make him want to see you if that feeling isn't there already).  He replied saying that his company's holiday party was the following night and asked if I would like to come along.  You bet I did!  Except, now I was a little weary of his intentions. 

The next evening I rushed home after work, showered, got all dressed up, did my make up and met him downstairs where he was waiting to pick me up.  We went to the party and it was little weird at first considering I had only been out with him a few times.  But, a few glasses of wine later, I was having a ball. 

We danced and laughed and ate (I tried to control myself and not eat like I normally do, which is like food is going out of style)...it was an awesome night.  At the end of it, we didn't want to go home, but it was too late to go out (I don't stop acting like a grandma for anyone)...so, I said he could come over as long as he didn't have any expectations.  He came back, I stuck to my word and the next morning, after I was done getting ready for work, we walked to Starbucks together...got our coffee and then got on the subway.  We were discussing New Year's and he said he didn't know whether he wanted to stay in Maine (he was going home for Christmas in about a week) or come back to the city.  He said he preferred to stay in the city, but it didn't sound like he had any plans to come back for.  So, I stupidly invited him to my New Year's party that I was going to have at my apartment.  He seemed surprised in a nice way and said he would let me know.

The following week he left for Maine and I never saw him again.  While he was there he texted me saying "Merry Christmas," but that was really it.  He never got back to me about New Year's and I slowly got over him. 

He did reappear though.  But, that's in Part III.

The Greek Guy

The Greek guy is someone I met last September. 

After our first date, I thought he was cute and fun, so I decided to go out with him a second time.  That's when I found out he was slightly crazy.  It turns out one of his favorite pasttimes was doing coke.  So much so, that he had a supply readily available in his apartment.  I explained to him that I've never done drugs and that as a lawyer, I could not take any chances being around that stuff.  He said he understood.

I was hopeful that because he grew up in Greece, maybe he was a nice family man with good values.  So much for that.  But, wondering if I reacted too quickly and thinking "well, maybe I should give him another chance...maybe there's more to him than just drugs...maybe, maybe, maybe" I went out with him one night the following week. We had a good chat over dinner, but I realized that he definitely was not for me.  That of course did not stop me from calling him one Friday night while I had been out and drinking with a girlfriend.  I went over his place and we hooked up.  The next morning while we were eating our bagels, he asked me where "this" was going.  Mouth full bagel and cream cheese, I looked at him and thought "oh crap."

I said that I didn't really see a future, mainly because he said he wasn't ready to stop doing coke, because he "just likes to party sometimes."  That's just not for me.  He then told me that there was a "certain masculinity to my femininity" and I said "did you just call me a dude?" 

That bothered me because clearly this man thought that because I wasn't into him, I was obviously just a dude playing the field and didn't want a relationship with anyone.  Can you imagine if the roles were reversed and after the fourth date I asked the man "where is this going?"  He would've freaked out and ran the other way. 

The following week Hurricane Sandy hit and he lived in lower Manhattan, which was essentially destroyed by the storm.  I offered for him to stay at my place during the first day of the storm.  I explained to him that it would not just be me and him...that my roommate and my friend were also going to come over.  My brother and his girlfriend came by too.  He came over, well aware that I wasn't planning some romantic night of hunkering down together. 

The entire night, his presence annoyed me to no end.  Around 11 pm I said I was tired and wanted to go to sleep.  That was when he started with his hissy fit...asking what was wrong with me and just being a plain old dick.  Then finally he goes "Do you want me to leave??" Truly perplexed why he was acting like such a child, I turned around and told him he was being very ridiculous and whether he wanted to stay or go was up to him.  He left the following morning in a weird mood and told me to take care.  I thought that was the end of it.

About a month later, he texted me asking if I was interested in having a booty call.  Obviously. 
I said no and wished him well.  What I really wanted to say was "What?!?!"

About a month after that he texted me again asking if I was now up for a booty call.  Again, I said no and that I had just started seeing someone.  I thought that would make it clear to him to leave me alone.

Last week, I got another text message from him saying that he had a dream about me and wanted to take me out.  I said no thank you and that this would not work.  He didn't reply.  Hopefully I'm in the clear for at least another two to three months. 

The Frugal Gourmet

After another long hiatus, i'm back.  Things in the dating world were good for a while and now they're bad again.  I'm hoping if I write about them, they'll be less bad.

Going back to last summer with the man I like to call the Frugal Gourmet:

I started seeing him in May and I wasn't so into him at first.  But, I went out with him a second time and then a third time and I began to enjoy his company.  It also didn't hurt that he was really cute. Things were pretty good - he planned dates, asked me out in advance, paid at the end of the date.  But, then by the third month, I noticed that he was super cheap.  And, not so much a gentlman.

He continued to ask me out to dinner and drinks and then when the bill would come, he would indirectly try to get me to pay for half.  My thoughts on paying are as follows:  I believe the man should pay on a date.  Once a relationship is established, I have no problem offering to split bills, or taking my boyfriend out once in a while, or cooking dinner for us at home.  But, during the courting phase, the man pays.  Period.

What I didn't understand was why he'd suggest going to nice places if he knew he didn't want to pay for it.  One time he took me to his favorite seafood place for dinner; he got the lobster and I got the shrimp tacos.  Then when the bill came, he wanted me to pay for half....but, there was no way I was paying for his lobster dinner.  I asked him if he was serious and then he played it off like he was just kidding.  Please.  I would've been perfectly content staying in, getting a bottle of wine and watching a movie.  But, he wanted to go to this restaurant.  You are the man, I am your date, you have made no committment to me. I am not here to finance your lobster dinner so that tomorrow night you can afford to take out the next girl. 

After that he asked me if I wanted to grab a drink at a lounge that just opened by his apartment.  I don't know why I continued on this date, but I did.  We went, he ordered his drink and I ordered a glass of wine.  Then the bartender gave us the bill and I knew he was waiting for me to pay for my own drink.  Annoyed, I reached into my wallet and gave him $10.  I looked around the bar - it was packed with couples on dates...I didn't see any other woman giving her date money to cover her glass of wine. 

With the mood completely killed, I was eager to get out of there.  I had already packed my bag to stay over his place (we had been doing this almost every weekend for the previous three months)...my bag was super heavy and I didn't feel like trekking back up to my apartment...I just wanted to go to sleep as it had been a long week.  Further annoyed that he not once had offered to carry my bag (despite all my comments about how heavy it was), I said "can you please just see how heavy this bag is that I've been carrying all night."  He took the bag from me and replied "Oh wow! That is heavy!"  Then he gave the bag back to me.

The next day he didn't even give me a kiss goodbye when I left his place.  When I got home I sent him a text message saying that this was not going to work for me.  He never responded.

The Neuroscientist and the World Traveler

The Neuroscientist ("NS") is a guy I met at a friend's birthday party this summer.  While I was at said party, I noticed a guy standing not too far away that looked pretty cute....so, I went up to my friend and asked who the hottie was.  |It turns out that was a guy that she had spoken about before...one that she and my former roommate had described a really nice person.  So, my friend walked me over to the group of people with whom he was talking and and somehow "casually" interjected us into the conversation. 

We spent the rest of my time there chatting, doing shots with others and trying to get other people to do kareoke.  Maybe that was just me who tried for the Kareoke.  I can't remember.  A few days later my friend texted me saying that NS had asked her for my number.  I asked if he had done that on his own or if she had said something to him at her party.  She told me that she mentioned that I had asked about him...but, whatever, I didn't care.  Anyways, he texted me a couple of days and we ended up getting drinks that week.  We went to a bar by his place and had a good time. I was super tired though, so around 10 pm I was the one who said we should get going.  We went out one more time the following week and I thought we had a good time.  Again, it was I who had to suggest ending the date.  A few days after that, he texted me saying that he was really busy that week (he really was a neuroscientist...he was actually starting a fellowship in neuroscience when we met) and asked if we could get together the following week. I said sure and we chatted a bit over text message.  He never texted me to make those plans. 

What the heck happened there?  In the beginning I thought, this is great...I have two friends that can vouch for his nicety and there's no way that he would act like a jerk given the fact that we have mutual friends.  But, it seems as though that's not a hinderance.  Is it really easier to blow a girl off knowing that your mutual friends will find out than it is to simply say "hey, I don't think this is going to work" or "hey, I like you, but I just don't have the time for this right now."  I feel like it can't be.  It's  not like it's neuro science or something.

The World Traveler is someone I dated from May to August of this past summer.  Things started off really well.  I always had a good time when we went out...he would make plans with me well in advance and would make a point to see me each week.  When we first started seeing each other, he was busy with something every weekend - a wedding, him mom coming to visit, his sister coming to visit, etc etc.  So, when the first weekend came that he didn't have any set plans, I thought for sure he was going to ask me to do something either Friday or Saturday night.  It turns out I was not factored into his weekend plans at all.  Seeing as how it had been over a month already and he was traveling abroad for 2 weeks not long after, I was pissed.

When I suggested Friday or Saturday night, he told me that he had dinner plans with his cousin Friday night and dinner plans with a friend Saturday night.  So, he asked me if we could hang out Thursday.  I said no.  Sensing my pissed-off-edness, he switched his Friday night plans and asked me to go to dinner instead.   I picked a place by my apartment, since every other time we had gone back to his place after dinner.  Dinner was fun...and then we went back to my apartment to drink some wine and watch tv...and that led to the obvious...

Afterwards, we just laid around talking for a bit, and then he got up and got dressed.  I asked him, shockingly, whether he was going home.  He replied that he was becuase he didn't like to sleep in other people's beds.  Now I was really mad.  Especially because I had shared with him my dislike of the idea of going home after sex.

The following week he was leaving for his two week vacation...so, I agreed to go out with him again Monday night thinking I was going to ask him "what we were."  But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was pointless.  He was already in vacation mode and I didn't want to be that crazy girl that wants to talk relationship right before he leaves.  So, I simply said "give me a call if you want when you're back." 

He did get in touch with me when he was back...but, of course couldn't make time for me on the weekend.  But, he did find time to call me at 11 pm that Friday night that he already had plans to see if he could come over.  I was pretty sick that whole week, so I figured "ehh, why not...it's not like I'm well enough to do anything...plus if he really upsets me, I'll just cough on him."  So, he came by...we watched tv and went to bed shortly after.  He stayed over, which I guess was a nice gesture.

We went to dinner the following Monday night and that was all well and good.  Afterwards, we went back to his place to hook up and watch some Olympics.  That was the last I saw him. 

About a week and a half after that Monday night, he texted me to say that he had quit his job and was going to be traveling around for 6 months.  I remembered our second date when after dinner we went back to his rooftop to have some wine and chit-chat, he told me that he wanted to spend 6 months traveling around south east Asia.  I remember thinking "who at the age of 28 would just take off for 6 months like that?"  That guy would.  He explained in his text message that he had a 6 month non-compete clause in his employment contract, so, that's how he was able to leave for so long. 

What makes me the most mad is not that he ended things so abruptly like that, but the fact that everytime he would complain about work, I asked him what was going on. But, he refused to talk about it.  Then, after 4 months of seeing each other, he just springs on me that his job is over and he's leaving the country.  Had he told me that things were bad at work and traveling for half a year was a real possibility, maybe I wouldn't have invested my time and emotions.  But, I guess that's why he kept that information to himself. 

Anyway, I don't think it would've worked with him.  Besides the not wanting to see me on weekends, I couldn't really stand that he always wore jeans and trouser socks.  I remember one night when we were laying in bed, I looked down on the floor and saw his socks neatly rolled up into a ball.  I thought to myself, "those are such old men socks...why does he always wear them and loafers?!"  Maybe it all worked out for the best.

Next: The Frugal Gourmet

The Summer of Men - Part I

After things ended with the guy featured in my prior post, I began to see other guys.  I went on a few dates here and there with no one worth mentioning.  There were however, four guys who made this summer interesting to say the least.

First, is a blast from my recent dating past - The Grown Up Frat Boy aka D-bag.  As you may remember, he was a grown up man-child who pretended that he wanted to settle down and have a serious relationship.  Except that that wasn't as much fun as going clubbing every night and partying with his boys on the regular.

After several months of not speaking to each other, he sent me a message on Facebook in the middle of the night.  It was a short message: "Hey."  But, I could tell what it was he wanted.  The following Saturday evening, I responded asking "drunk much last night?"  He replied by inviting me out to a club with him and his friends that night.  For whatever reason, I decided to go.  Seeing as how I haven't been to a club since I was probably 23, I didn't know what to wear.  My roommate helped me put together an outfit...I wore a short grey shift dress, my big fake pearl earrings, my roommate's blue/gold chunky neckalace and my 4 inch patent leather beige heels.  When I met him at da club, he told me I looked good - "very corporate", I believe were his exact words.

It was his buddy's birthday, so 35 of their closest friends had gotten a table and a bottle. GUFB asked what he could make me and I told him to just give me some vodka on the rocks.  The house music was blaring, the strobe lights were flashing...I knew I was going to need the aid of hard liquor for this. 

The surprising thing was that I actually had a good time.  We chatted about non-sense the whole night...joked around...had a good time all around.  At the end of the night, I went back with him to his place, but didn't sleep with him.  I of course fell asleep on the couch and he carried me to bed, gave me PJ's and helped me take my contacts out.  I thought maybe he's not so bad...he seems to be doing nice things. 

I left early Sunday morning, but before I left he confirmed that we were going out to dinner the next night (he asked me at da club, but I just rolled my eyes b/c I remembered how he would always make plans and then cancel at the last minute).  I told him sure and to call me.

He did call. I met him at his apartment and we walked to a restaurant in the Meatpacking District.  Dinner was really good and afterwards, I went back with him to his place for a little.  We watched a recorded episode of jeopardy and one thing led to another and yada yada yada.

I left around 11:30 and I remember thinking, ehh that wasn't so great.

That didn't, however, stop me from texting him about 2 weeks later.  My roommate and I were moving out of our apartment and Time Warner had come to take away all of our forms of entertainment.  We passed the night away by eating dinner, then eating a lot of cake and I drank 3/4 of a bottle of wine.  It was still only 9 pm.  With a little encouragement from my roommate and a lot of encouragement from all the wine I drank, I texted GUFB telling him he should come over.  You would think that a guy would show up soon after that.  Instead, here's how the conversation went:

GUFB: Did you just invite me over for an adult play date?

Me: Oh good, you got it.  I was worried it wasn't clear.

GUFB: Haha.  I literally just walked in from work and I ordered food...come here, I have sex and tv.

Me: Nah, you come here.  I have cake leftovers.

GUFB:  Cake?  I need real food.

Me:  (insert last name of GUFB), you dissapoint me.  Goodnight.

GUFB:  I'll text you after I eat.

Me:  Well, hurry up b/c I'm going to bed soon.

By the time he texted me back, it was too late. 

We rescheduled the play date for another night.  And, it was not fun.  He was drunk from hanging out with his boys all day and was being incredibly rude and obnoxious.  I ended up not getting any sleep that night because he kept his apartment at sub-arctic temperatures and apparently had no idea where his blanket was.  I couldn't wait to get up in the morning to go to work.

I'm pretty sure there won't be anymore playdates. 

Next: The Neuroscientist and the World Traveler

I'm Back

It's been a while since I wrote an entry so, as I sit here today, hungover from drinking many shots last night, I've decided that it's time to update you all on my love life. 

The last time I wrote I had been seeing a guy for about a month and things were actually going pretty well.  I guess I'll start with how that ended.

This guy was funny, cute, smart and seemed so sweet.  He would get in touch with me on a Monday to make plans with me for the weekend...he never let me pay for anything....he would email me in between dates just to say hi...I really liked him.  We went out on three dates within the course of three weeks and for our fourth date, I decided to invite him to my friend's birthday gathering at a local bar.  That Friday night we first went to dinner, which was a lot of fun and during which he spoke of us going to the beach together when the summer came.  I thought to myself, ok, he must like me if he's talking about hanging out several months from now.  After dinner, we went to my friend's birthday at the bar where he met a few of my friends and everyone seemed to like him.  I was so happy.  After the bar, I went back with him to his place.  The next day, things started to get weird.

That entire weekend I had continuing legal education courses that I had to attend.  So, I got up around 7 am Saturday morning at his place to go to class.  I was a little annoyed that he didn't get out of bed to walk me out of his apartment.  I got progressively annoyed as the weekend went on because he hadn't texted or called me to ask me how the class was going or just to say hey.  By Sunday night I was upset and worried that he wasn't going to speak to me again despite how great of a time we were having with each other.  But, around 9 pm that Sunday night, he finally texted me asking how the rest of my weekend was.  The next day at work, I expected an email or something asking me to go out again.  But, no such email came.  On Tuesday, he sent me an odd email simply asking how my week was going, but not asking to see me again.  I wrote back asking him what he was up to that week and he never responded.  At the end of the week, he wrote back to me stating that he didn't do anything during the week (I obvioulsy wondered why he didn't ask me to hang out then).  However, he did invite me out for Saturday...to bring some girlfriends to meet up with him and his friends for Cinco de Mayo drinking festivites. I knew something was up at this point, so I friended him on Facebook so that I could do some stalking research.  Turned out he had just gotten out of a five year long relationship about six months prior to our starting to date.  It all made sense me to then.

The following week, I emailed him to ask him if he wanted to get a drink one night.  My plan was to ask him what his deal was because while he had become distant, he was still sending me random one-liner emails.  Of course, he didn't have time to get a drink and by the end of the week he had sent me an email telling me that he really liked me, but was trying to work on things with his ex.

I got mixed advice from friends, but in the end I decided to reply to his email.  I stated that I knew something was up with his ex, which I had hoped to find out about over a drink and that I thought he was rude and disrespecful by leading me on and by not just telling me the truth from the get-go.  He responded that he was sorry and that he was so confused, etc etc.

That was the end of that.

Fast forward about two months....I was awoken on a Thursday night at 1:45 am to the sound of my phone ringing.  It was him.  I figured he accidentally dialed my number, so I silenced the call and went back to sleep.  Fifteen minutes later, he called again.  I silenced the call and went back to bed.  The next morning, I consulted my source of all important information - Facebook.  I saw that at around 2 am he checked in at a bar close to my apartment. I then knew the calls were no accident. 

So, I texted him that morning to thank him for the early wake up call.  He wrote back asking me if he could talk to me later that day.  I asked about what and he replied "just, everything..."  I have to say, I was pretty excited.  But, of course, he never called.  The next night, he texted me at 3 am asking if it was too late to call and if so, if he could call me tomorrow.  I told him to call me tomorrow.  By 10 pm that next day, he still hadn't contacted me so I decided to text him a friendly little message stating not to call or text me at 2 am in his drunken stupor.  He never responded.

And, that was really the end of that.

Long Overdue Update

Hey all, sorry for the lack of posting recently.  Here's a quick update on my dating life:

A few weeks ago I found out through Facebook that my ex has had a girlfriend for several months now.  It was a total shock and incredibly depressing.  I threw myself a pity party that weekend where I got drunk with some girlfriends and got lost in some amazing realty television.  The following Monday though the party was over and I resolved to stop nit-picking at all my dates and to really try to find a successful relationship.

I continued to date a few guys and I honestly had fun while out with each of them.  But, more importantly, for the last month I've been out a few times with one guy in particular who I really like.  He's sooooo sweet, funny, cute and smart and I have a great time each time we go out.  We have our fourth date this Friday....he's coming with me to a friend's birthday party and we're going out to dinner before hand.  Unlike many of the other guys I've dated, I actually can't wait to see this one and get excited whenever he texts or emails me.  I'm excited to see where this goes (and at the same time of course nervous and scared that it will end poorly - I wouldn't be me if I wasn't)...stay tuned!

A P.S. on Mr. Scientist

One of the things I forgot to mention about my date last night with Mr. Scientist was that we had planned to meet at 7:30 at a bar he chose.  I had a long day at work and was running behind schedule, so I asked him if we could move it to 8 p.m.  He responded "hmmm, how about 7:45?"  I was annoyed that he couldn't give me the extra 15 minutes, but agreed to meet him then nonetheless.  I got home, changed quickly, had my roommate help me with my make up and ran out of my apartment and into a cab to meet him on time.

Tonight, I got dinner with two of my friends (Roommate and Range Rover) and was telling them about my date last night, including the part about how he was willing to let me split the bill with him.  I stated my frustration with the fact that he couldn't even give me the extra 15 minutes to get ready and then on top of that he wanted to split our $10 bill...the drinks were so cheap because it was happy hour. Range Rover then pointed out what I was too oblivious to see - that he wanted to meet before 8 pm because that's probably when happy hour ended.  He wanted to ensure that he wouldn't have to pay for more than 1 happy hour priced drink!!!  To confirm, Roommate called the bar to see what time/days happy hour was and sure enough it's every Monday through Thursday until 8 p.m. 

So, this guy not only wouldn't give me 15 minutes extra to get ready after a long, rushed day at work.  But, he did it to make sure he wouldn't have to spend more than $5 on my drink.  Real classy.

Mr. Scientist (or Cheapo as I will now refer to him) texted me tonight.  I am yet to decide whether to respond.  Although I'm leaning towards no, I'll give it until tomorrow to decide.  If I do go out with him again, it'll be at a time that works for me and I may even push the envelope and suggest ordering food.  That'll show him!

Party Boat and Mr. Scientist

I know I haven't written since my ending it with Mr. Quiet and I apologize because I'm sure you're all sitting by your computers incessently hitting refresh hoping to read about new dating adventures.  Unfortunately though, there is nothing terribly exciting to report.

While there haven't been any reassuring experiences lately, I am still going on dates and seeing what's out there.  This past Sunday, I had plans to go on a singles' cruise type of party.  It sounded like a fun idea in theory...I went with two friends and we first, wisely, had about three glasses of wine at one of our apartments.  Slightly buzzed and even less slightly hopeful, we ventured to the party boat.  Upon arrival, we took one look at the line of freaks people waiting to board the boat, and instantly knew this was not where we would find our dream men. Or any men really for that matter, as most of the people there were scantily clad girls who didn't seem to mind the fact that it was 40 degrees out and they were wearing clothes no bigger than my hand towels.

We quickly decided to ditch the party boat and took our dressed-up selves to a fun beer bar (I happen to have pissed off the owner of this bar once but it was fine, because I wasn't planning to use my credit card, so they'd have no way of knowing who I was).  The three of us ordered flights of beer and discussed men and dating and it ended up being a really nice night.  The best part?  I was at home by 9 and in bed by 10! 

Then, last night I went out with a guy who I'll call Mr. Scientist.  He was cute, really smart and had a really interesting job.  He studies genetics looking for indications of mental illness (I think that's the gist of it...but, I could be way off).  I was interested in his profession, so I asked a million questions, mainly about how to tell if one will eventually suffer a mental breakdown and lose his/her mind.  But, then I began to worry that maybe he thought I was asking for my own personal knowledge.  So, I cooled it on the mental illness talk.

The date was o.k...nothing special.  By 10 pm, I was getting tired and we had run out of things to talk about, so he kept laughing nervously and I kept racking my brain for another question to ask.  Finally, he got the bill and I offered to split it with him.  He said, it's up to you if you want to...but, you don't have to.  That annoyed me, so I said, ok thanks and put my wallet away.  The old Ruby would've split it because she felt bad.  The current Ruby is over that.

On top of that, when we left the bar, he kept putting his arms around me in an attempt to warm me up and laughing.  As we all know by now, I do not appreciate this type unwelcome touching.  Maybe I'm more reserved than others, but seriously, if I'm not reciprocating, then keep your hands to yourself buddy.

That's all for now.  I contemplated sharing a few more stories of bad dates from last year.  But, I'm thinking it's best to just look forward and hope for better.  Examples of those include: the guy who asked me on the first date to go back to his apartment to smoke pot , the British low talker, and the Aussie who I was having a great time with only to have the three hour date end awkwardly and then never hear from him again.  Good times.

A True Good Guy: Update on Mr. Quiet

So, a couple of posts ago, I wrote about my dates with Mr. Quiet and I left off stating that I had a dinner date with him last Saturday night.  Here's how that went down:

I met him at a Thai restaurant in Hell's Kitchen - third date and he was still picking the place and making the plans, which I thought was really nice of him.  Dinner was ok.  We had to wait for our table, so we sat at the bar and he offered to get us drinks.  It was pretty packed and I watched him trying to get the bartender's attention...he just kind of stood there, half raising his hand to be noticed.  If it were me, I would've squeezed myself into the crowd and would've politely asserted myself. 

After he got us drinks we chatted at the bar for a little.  He told me about how he went snowboarding with some friends last week and how his friend's car's window had broken.  He said that he and his friends didn't haggle with insurance or something of that nature and it reminded me of the time my car broke down while driving to Canada because the mechanic who performed an oil change on it earlier that day forgot to put the cap back in properly.  I told him that I had been really agressive and refused to take no from the insurance company everytime they told me they weren't responsible for something.  At this point, I was having trouble hiding my disappointment that he was so reserved and laid-back.

When we sat down to eat, I found it difficult to keep up conversation with him.  It seemed like again I was asking all the questions and everytime he was answering, I was already thinking about what to ask next so that there wouldn't be any awkward silence.  At one point we discussed books we had read and were currently reading.  Luckily that took up a good amount of time and his comments reflected his intelligence, which I liked a lot.

After dinner, this shy guy surprisingly said to me "so, instead of going to a bar, do you want to just come back to my apartment?" I was shocked and even though I didn't want to, I agreed because I felt bad saying no!  He was so sweet, how could I shoot him down?!  It was probably a bad idea in hindsight. 

We walked over to his apartment in silence for the most part because I had started to feel really awkward and uncomfortable.  When we got upstairs he asked if I wanted to watch a movie.  Unable to commit to being there for two hours, I suggeseted we watch episodes of Bored to Death (it came up on his Netflix).  He put the show on and turned off the lights and I became a statue.  The closer he got to me and the more he kept touching me, the more still I became.  I felt bad and at the same time felt angry that he wasn't picking up on my hesitations.  After the episode was over, he kissed me and I made up an excuse for having to leave.  He tried to kiss me some more and I went along with it for a few more minutes.  Not wanting to be there and not wanting to lead him on any further, I said I had to go.

I was mad at myself that here I had this pefectly sweet, smart guy and I wasn't into him. One of the things I loved the most about my ex was his ability to converse with complete strangers (he would strike up conversations with people at weddings, with cab drivers, anyone!) and the ease with which he made friends in any situation.  He was confident and outgoing and I realize now that those are qualities I find important in a man.

I told a few of my friends about my date with Mr. Quiet and how I hated myself for not liking him.  They each said that it's fine to not be into someone, but that I couldn't lead him on...so, if he asked to see me again, I would have to say no. 

Mr. Quiet texted me Monday night to ask how my day was and if I wanted to go out with him again this week.  With shaky hands, I texted him back that I thought was awesome and so nice, but wasn't feeling this at the moment.  He later responded that he was sorry it didn't work out and wished me luck in my search for someone.  A truly sweet and mature guy.

The Drunkard

This past Wednesday I went out with a guy who I will call "The Drunkard."  He works down the street from where I work and he lives down the street from where I live.  Yet for some reason we met at a bar about thirty blocks away from us.  This may not seem like a big deal, but when you're going on several dates a week and taking a cab there and back so as to be punctual, that adds up! 

He had texted me while I was in the cab saying that the bar we were going to go to was packed so we should go somewhere else.  I suggested a place I knew to be relatively quiet to the others in the area and he said that was fine.  I got out of the cab and met at him outside the bar he was apparently drinking at for the past forty minutes.  He went to hug me hello and he reeeeeeked of booze.  Sexy.

As were were walking to the bar we passed a cute wine bar and I said, let's just go in here.  We sat at the bar and hilarity/misery ensued.  At first we were talking, asking each other questions about our jobs, our families, etc etc.  That was all fine.  But, in the amount of time it took me to have a few sips of my glass of wine, he had downed a giant mug of beer.  He was then onto beer number two (at this place, I'm not sure how many he had by himself at the prior bar). 

He started slurring his words a little and was in the middle of telling me about a beer garden in Pittsburgh where they sing a funny song - and then he starts singing the song.  I was trying so hard not to crack up when he was singing about the tall, tall giraffes and how the little fishes swim and whatever other animals were involved in that awful song. 

After that he thought he was hysterical so he kept laughing randomly and asking me questions that he forgot he had already asked me five minutes ago.  When I repeated my answers, he'd laugh even harder.  And one point he was telling me something with his finger pointed right in my face.  I almost smacked his hand away. 

It was after he got up to pee for the second time and was holding his crotch and doing a little bit of the pee-pee dance that I decided I needed to get out of there.  When he came back from the bathroom, he asked me for the second time if I wanted to get food and again I said no.  I told him that I wasn't going to be able to finish my wine and that I was ready to go.  He got the check and then pushed it away and continued to ask me more questions that he already asked me.  I couldn't sit there with the drunkard anymore so I pointed to the bill and asked if we should split it.  He said he got it and I quickly put on my coat and jumped off my seat (at this point, he was practically sitting in my lap because he kept leaning over into me with each sip of beer).  I thanked him and quickly walked away in the opposite direction.

Dates like this make me really appreciate Mr. Quiet even if I do have to do all the talking. 

Mr. Quiet

So, in the last few weeks I've been out twice with a guy we will call "Mr. Quiet."  I wasn't expecting much from our first date, but I had bought a new bracelet that day and was excited to have a reason to where my new sparkly purchase.  (I  love to plan my meals and my outfits - the best dates are where I can do both) 

We went for drinks at a bar by my apartment - he offered to come up to my neighborhood and he picked the place - so, at least I knew he was a nice guy who put some effort into our first date.  The date was about two hours long and was surprisingly pleasant!

The next day he texted me that he had a great time with me and hopefully we'd hang out again soon.  I loved that he was so nice and said that we should definitely go out again.  I figured we'd go to dinner or something, but he asked me if I wanted to play pool or ping pong or go to dinner.  I really just wanted to go to dinner seeing as how I hadn't played pool or ping pong in probably ten years or so and didn't even know where we'd go to do that.  But, I didn't want to offend him just in case he was a hardcore ping pong player or something.  So, I went along with this new activity and thought "hey, who knows, maybe I'll emerge as a professional ping pong star."  (I'm always looking for ways to not have to go to work anymore).

We ended up going to Slate in Chelsea, which is a fun/normal place.  It was a little odd at first because it was only our second date and you obvioulsy can't converse while standing on opposite ends of a ping pong table.  We mainly stood there smacking the ball back and forth and broke up the silence by joking about how bad I was.  Which was fine...I was glad to contribute.  I clearly knew nothing about the game, so I trusted him to keep score fairly - I was always somewhere in between zero and two points per game, so he really just had to keep count for himself.

After we were done playing we finished our drinks and chatted a little.  I noticed though that he was sort of quiet and I found myself asking most of the questions and trying to keep the conversation going.  It's not my usual role as I'm not super talkative and outgoing, but I can be if the guy I'm with is.  Still though, he was nice, pleasant to look at and I was having a good time.

After Slate we went to dinner at a place his friend recommended and I felt at times it was a little awkward because he wasn't so talkative.  I kept asking questions and while he was speaking I was thinking, "what can I ask next so there's no silence?" 

We found things to talk about luckily and then left shortly after finishing dinner. He offered to split a cab going uptown even though it entailed him walking two avenues after he got out.  I thought that was really sweet of him.  However, once we were in the cab, this quiet/shy guy grabs my hand to hold and that really caught me off guard because I am soooo not a fan of the forced hand hold.  I hate it!!!!!  I felt so awkard...I just kept my hand held out while he held it and we sat in silence during the cab ride.  Oddly enough, when he kissed me before getting out of the cab, that felt perfectly fine...but, the hand hold really freaked me out.  Go figure.

I'm going out to dinner with Mr. Quiet tonight and am excited/interested to see how it goes.  While I don't feel like "omg, I can't wait to see him again!" I do enjoy my time with him and am willing to see where it goes.  Updates to follow :)

The Interviewer

I feel the need to share a recent email I've gotten from a guy on the dating site.  Please note that this guy has emailed me before at least twice and I've ignored each email, as I'm not interest. The comments in red are what I would say if I were to bump my head and write back.

Hey,

I"m --------- a recent addition to the Upper East Side Neighborhood which was a dream of mine for years to live in Manhattan but a life long born NYer. I'm from Upstate Poughkeepsie where my family and my best friends still reside and they both mean the world to me.

I am very laid back, outgoing, ambitous, caring, love to laugh at myself and others of course. A typical guy guy who loves his sports, sportcenter but I would like to take advantage of other things that NYC has to offer.


Some questions for you.

Where do you like to travel to? 
Me: I love tropical places and would love to explore Europe more.
Iran. I hear it's beautiful this time of year.

What do you find most attractive in a guy?
Me: In a lady I like a great smile, cute laugh, family values and educated.
His left testicle.
Who would you have as a dinner guests if you can choose anyone? 
Me: Jamie Dimon, George Washington and FDR
You, big boy!


What is something about you that would be surprising? 
Me: I won a spelling bee in the 4th grade
I used to be a man.


Maybe it's mean of me to laugh at his expense.  But, come on...what are you thinking sending this to girls?!? (Especially to one who has already ignored your attempts at Q&A conversation!