The Cultural Side of Dating

The Sober Croatian Guy - I met a guy who also has Croatian grandparents and was hopeful.  I figured he would probably have similar values and was hopefully raised to be a gentleman.  We met up at a wine bar one Sunday night, where he informed me right away that he does not drink.  Perplexed and disappointed, I asked if he wanted to go somewhere else, but luckily he said no.  So, I ordered a glass of wine and he ordered a glass of water.  My curiosity got the best of me and I ended up asking what made him give up alcohol forever.  He then informed me of the following: He used to have a drinking problem and was fresh out of a relationship with a party animal who does cocaine and that he is still friends with her.  He also told me about how he hates his job at a big law firm and that he wants to quit and find something else to do with his life.  I told him that most lawyers hate their jobs and asked him if maybe he was overreacting. But, he wasn't...he wants to find that special job that makes him happy now that he's turned over a new leaf and has quit drinking (but yet still hangs out with his coke head ex girlfriend).  I wonder what his grandparents would say about this.  I can tell you that mine, along with the entire village they live in, would be in an uproar if I was making these choices.

The Syrian - As the title suggests, this guy is Syrian. His parents came to the U.S. when he was little and he grew up in Houston, TX. I met up with him at a wine bar on a Thursday night and had a great time.  He was cute, funny, very smart and seemed to pretty successful in his career.  The next day he texted me that he had fun and invited me to a birthday party his friend was throwing in the West Village Saturday night.  I thought it was a little too soon for an invite like that, but agreed to go nevertheless. 

We first got drinks at a speakeasy in the East Village, which was great and then headed over to this birthday party.  It was no ordinary b-day party.  First of all, the apartment was more of a mansion - a mansion located next door to Hugh Jackman's mansion.  All the girls there were decked out in the most expensive designers (Hermes, Louboutin, Chanel, etc...) and most of the guys were dressed like d-bags.  Fortunately, this was not his usual crew.  He assured me that he thought the party was way over the top and that he really had just wanted to check out this apartment that he had heard so much about. 

About half way through the night, I resolved to have a good time despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable.  So, I went to the bar that was being manned by two model-ish women and began drinking grey goose and sodas very rapidly.  Sure enough, I ended up having a great time with the Syrian at the party...we laughed and kissed and made fun of everyone there.  Afterwards, I didn't want the night to end, so we went back to his place (where don't worry, nothing happened). 

The next morning we talked for three hours while laying around in bed and then went out for coffee.  He was leaving for London on Monday (for work), but asked if I wanted to see him when he got back.  We emailed each day that he was away and when he got back we exchanged some funny text messages re Hugh Jackman and the party we had experienced together.  Then, Sunday night we went to dinner, which was a lot of fun and back to his place to watch 60 minutes.  Instead of watching the show though, we made out and went to bed like the old people that we are.

I'm not sure what happened after that because he didn't ask me to hang out again.  I thought things were fine and while I wasn't exactly convinced this was the guy I was going to marry, I still enjoyed my time with him.  It would've been nice to go out a few more times.  I guess the good thing is at least now I don't have to debate whether I should marry into a Syrian family or not.  Always looking at the positive.